Straightforward point of views.

2011-09-25T12:46:00.003+08:00

On his 23rd Birthday. Just like his 22nd Birthday, I was there to celebrate.

Only difference is, we were dating then. We're together now (:

It's been more than a year i've tolerated this boy's nonsense. He was tough, purposely making himself difficult to please. Purposely trying to make me angry, sad, disappointed, cry. ALWAYS gets on my nerves. Always pumping my blood pressure. Always attempting to break his promises.

Sounds like a man that no girl ever wanna be with, really.

But despite his flaws, I know there's a man in there, just waiting for the right time to show himself. I've seen that man sometimes appearing for about 15 minutes, and he disappears again. And i'm confident that that's the man I wanna be with till God knows when. And I know there's a reason why he chose to be obnoxious towards me. I know there is.

I always thought that the saying, "I can't imagine life without you." is utterly bullshit.

But now I know how it really feels. Really, I do.

2011-08-11T23:29:00.003+08:00

(Kening aku senget, aku tau)

Hello fellow readers!

I think it's time for a proper update huh? Well let me see. My previous jobs were all failures. My first two was a mistake thinking I could do a commision based job. And when it came to my third, I thought it was a "finally I feel confident in lasting long in this job" kinda thing but BIGGEST regret ever. Company's screwed and don't get me started with the boss. Tsk!

So back to square one; Unemployed.

I do have job openings here and there but i'm keeping my options open currently. I wanna really choose and not start on anything which i'm not sure of anymore. Apparently, my mind's telling me to pursue my diploma. My mum would definitely second to that, that's for sure. She'll pay any amount as long as I continue studying. But not at the same institution. Reason? Personal.

Tapi sua sedap dapat gaji every month, dah naik lemak ni.

Plus, wa rasa otak wa sudah mati.

But as they say, one is never too old for education.

Other than that, everything else is fine. My family? Hmmm. Tanak cakap apa2 lah kan. Anyways, how's Ramadhan for everyone? I'm sure all of you kempunan banyak makanan (ni semua standaaaarrrdddd) and have been breaking fast with good food right? And gosh, i'm still craving for A & W and have not gotten my burger Ramly!!! *$^#&$(@#^&$#)@!#

Raya is in around 2 weeks time. This year should be interesting.

And only I know why ;)

2011-08-10T10:53:00.002+08:00

I'm too used to detachment, too used to you not being there for me most of the time that now, I feel minimal heartbreak when you leave. Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?

Life's too short to dwell on anything for too long.

Pfft, get over it already.

2011-08-04T12:33:00.000+08:00

*Freakishly kisses computer screen*
Currently obsessed with Adam Levine.

2011-08-03T09:20:00.002+08:00

One day when the sky is falling, i'll be standing right next to you.

2011-06-28T14:01:00.002+08:00

Today, I sit home, thinking that everyday's a new day. So why have I always been looking back into the past? I'm not ready to let go of so many things, so many people. How am I supposed to handle what's in front of me now? Looking back at everything got me pondering how I managed to be where I am now. Working for a Real Estate Investments company at OCBC center. I mean, i'm financially okay but social wise, oh wells.

formspring.me

2011-04-07T01:19:00.001+08:00

Bring it. http://formspring.me/nanacine

2011-03-29T22:52:00.002+08:00

I've found a new job. Hope this one is suitable for me. I don't know ehh.

The pay is good lah definitely, and the hours are pretty impressive.

Start work means tak boleh main2 already.

Will meet Hafiz lesser seh ): Alaaaaaaaa!

2011-03-23T11:44:00.002+08:00

Tell me again, what happened to us?

Wait, in this matter, what happened to you?

Have you forgotten everything that i've done for you.

Correct me if i'm wrong but you're no longer the man i first fell in love with.

2011-03-22T11:50:00.002+08:00

Have you ever had your priorities straight for years? Like you tell yourself, I will never let a guy disrespect me, and will never go back to him once I leave him. Kirakan macam kalau dah ludah tak akan kau jilat balik. You set expectations for a man that you really wanna be with and you want someone you could actually marry.

My expectations for a man is that he is quite family-oriented. He respects people other than just himself. He doesn't have to be good with words but simply honest and sincere. I don't want lies, just truths. He has to have a future. Someone sweet and would be romantic once in a while. I don't like romance 24/7. Geli lah, ish!

But then, a man entered my life.

And he was the kind that I would never love or even wanna be in a relationship with,

at least that's what I thought.

2011-03-21T21:31:00.002+08:00

I'm currently sick, fever plus flu. I hate this combination, seriously.

Anyways, I bought the mascara already and killed my cravings for egg tarts. Yummeh baby! I even bought extra to keep it at home, in case my cravings come again sooner or later. Aku punya kempunan, kalahkan orang mengandung nyah! Dasar PBG eh aku! Tapi takpe, food doesn't stay, weight doesn't gain. Wooots!

However, I didn't get to find the stippling brush. Should I just order online? I found one website which sells authentic elf cosmetics and at a cheaper price. Hmmmm...Oh btw, tomorrow, I am soooo gonna have briyani. Kempunan briyani and especially the papadom (spelling?).

Chao readers!

2011-03-20T13:25:00.002+08:00

After much consideration, imma get this mascara! I tried it once at Guardian and was thinking if this mascara would be a good one. I'd like one that won't smudge and makes it longer without making it look retarded. Like, some of your lashes might be longer than the other and it will suddenly be thinner on the edges.

But trying on this mascara, it made my lashes equally longer, with volume and definitely satisfaction. And it costs, I think $15-$20. I'm not sure but i'm gonna get it today. Together with a stippling brush. Oh btw, I need to get a foundation that doesn't wear off the whole day cause I have oily skin. I need recommendations! A lot has recommended me the Revlon's Photo Ready. I'm still not confident on that product.

Currently using the Bio essence's BB cream and it wears of really fast cause of my oily skin. Tsk!

Okay, it's gonna rain, again. How am I supposed to go out?!

2011-03-19T14:22:00.002+08:00

The right one has been in front of you this whole time.

The shitty ones are just blocking your view.

It's funny how you know you deserve better, waaaaaayyyy better but you still settled for less. You know you're gonna get lesser, you know you're gonna get hurt, you know you're gonna cry most of the time and yet you still chose to stick to that person. WHY? No matter how hard the relationship is, you still believe that it will last when the vision of the end is clearly right in front of you!

It's frustrating and i've never lowered my pride for someone like this! I mean, a guy treats me like shit and I leave, that's it, end of story. But no, Hafiz pulls me in by pushing me away. Honestly, I normally fall for what guys say or the fact that they buy me chocolates, but I fell for Hafiz, just him being himself.

When a woman who is worth so much more and is willing to settle for less, they're a keeper.

2011-03-14T11:09:00.001+08:00

I am a confused girl, and I don't like it.

Somebody just give me answers please?

Pooo :(

2011-03-01T12:48:00.003+08:00

Happy 3rd monthsary baby. I love you (:

2011-02-16T22:38:00.001+08:00

Baby's sick, never seen him like this before.

2011-02-04T00:15:00.002+08:00

Lorencia, my colleague. Hee, I love this pic!

So I had 2 full days with Mr.Hafizuddin. There was quite a lot of drama going on. But nevertheless, I chose to shove it to the back of my mind and try to let it not bother me. However, I kinda failed and had a mood-changing fit last night. Pfft! Standard, uzur nak dekat bro!

Anyways, happy chinese new year to my chinese friends! I must say, i'm quite angry with the fact that 80% of the shops in Singapore are closed! I'm NOT being racist here but I gotta say, more advantages are given to the chinese. I understand that the population is made up of mostly chinese people but here's the thing:

If it was Hari Raya, quite a number of us malays still have to go to work because of short of manpower. Tak bagi muka sial! Okay fine, perhaps they offered double pay or something but it's still no reason to make us work on OUR raya! But when it comes to CNY, waaaah, close shop, no need to work. JALAN TERUUUUUSSSS! Maintain ah macam gini okay? MAINTAIN... I just think it's not fair. Selagi aku boleh bercakap, selagi tu lah aku bersuara.

And have you heard of the Lee Kuan Yew criticizing the muslims issue? He said something about because of the muslims, singapore tak boleh maju. Something like that, not the exact words though. Go google it or something to find out more but just with that info itself has made me so angry. I understand that some of the malays sometimes portray bad images. But that doesn't give you the right to CRITICIZE us in your book! Eurgh!

Dalah, aku geram.

Nak nibble on green tea kuachi.

NIGHTS!

2011-01-30T01:22:00.002+08:00

Gong Xi Fa Cai !!!
Hong Pao Na Lai (:

Waaah, my cheena friends are gonna be rich with the red packets that they're getting. And stuffed with oranges, and perhaps beer. Aiseyman, enjoy your holidays yeah? Go play mahjong and win yourself more money! Anyhoos, speaking of CNY, this coming I got 4 days of solid OFF DAYS; From 2-4 February. Madcited lah please?!

Baby & I are planning to go Pulau Ubin together with my company but see how. So far macam takda news only? Oh wells, what i'm looking forward to is the company dinner, a pre-CNY celebration treated by my boss. It's tomorrow, a halal buffet at god knows where. And the day after tomorrow is...Apiz & I punya 2nd month (: I hope I get to meet him, seriously.

(B if you're reading this, you should know by now that you should meet me. Remember last monthsary? OMGakuflashbackanditmakesmesogeraaaamlahplease?!)

But no biggie. It's only been 2 months. We've got more to come, hopefully. Insya'allah. I don't expect much, but I hope I get to eat the briyani i've longed for. Anyhoos, I am praying so hard that boss gives our pay during the CNY dinner tomorrow. Hahaha. Pokai nyah! Sometimes I wonder, where did my money all go? Then fikir punya fikir, I realized where it all went...

*BIG SMILE*

Okay nanight people. I wanna sleep now. Apiz has slept for...I think 17 hours. He has such irregular sleeping patterns. Text me when you wake up bay! Okay, goodnight hug for dear readers. Have I told you, i'm a step closer to BIG$$$? Szzzaaaaaap. If I really win the case, first donate to masjid and then imma take 10k to splurge on me and my boyfriend. Shoppppiiiinnnnggg! Never to forget my close friends! Okay bye nak sleep. Zzzzzzzz!

2011-01-28T22:00:00.002+08:00

The fact that you showed me your true colours even before we were in a relationship and I was able to accept, made me wanna be with you. And I never got tired of meeting you. Sometimes I feel that you're my biggest mistake ever made but then again, it seemed like you're a mistake worth making. I always wondered if you really loved me. I always wondered if you realized the sacrifices i've done for you, the things i've done for you.

You never showed you cared. But on the 26th january, you told me about your ex gf. What happened between you and her, in details. I could see that you were somehow still upset about that matter, even if it was 3-4 years down the road. Then you said...

Him: Tapi I ada date dengan perempuan2 lain lah these past years.
Me: Abeh you tak pernah ke terfikir nak go further dengan dorang?
Him: Tanak ah (slightly frowning and shrugged it off)
Me: Beh asal dengan I you nak pulak?
Him: Sebab you never give up on me. Tak senang nak cari perempuan yang boleh tahan dengan perangai I.

I wanted to cry, I swear.

It was spontaneous, sincere and honest.

I love you, Hafizuddin.

You put up with me at my very worst and I thank you for that.

2011-01-07T16:16:00.001+08:00

I'm craving for Chewy Junior.

2011-01-04T00:29:00.002+08:00

I was in the bus, on the way home from work when I flashbacked to the argument we had on the 2nd of January. I then thought if I was gonna live with that kind of heartache forever? Cause I had a lot of it in the past and definitely don't wanna see a lot of it in my future also. For that point of time I said to myself...

"If I were to be granted ONE wish, I would wish for my memory to be able to delete and save. So that I can delete the bad memories and save the good ones. Whatever heart ache or bad experience with my ex, I want to delete it!"

Then after a few seconds, I realized that to learn to love, you gotta learn from heartbreaks. If it wasn't for the mistakes i've made to be in a relationship with a jerk and wasted my damn time, I wouldn't become what I am now. My boyfriend may see me as impatient but truth be told, i've improved waaaaay lot than last time.

I WAS a control freak.

I WAS a constantly angry girlfriend.

My ego was HUMONGOUS!

I was a girl that no guy would wanna stay long with.

Reason because I held on too tight. Through the bad and good times, i've learnt all the different characters. Well, I think most of them. Like for example; Guys hate it when their egos get turned down by purpose, especially by their own girlfriend and MOST HATED when it's in front of his dudes. He will purposely insult you back and you're just gonna end up arguing.

There are more which I would love to list down if I wasn't so sleepy. My main point is, memories, be it good or bad are meant to be there forever. There's a reason why you can't forget certain bad memories. And believe it or not, sometimes you can't even recall the good ones. Never wish that you can erase the bad memories cause that's where you grow wiser. You learn from mistakes and somehow be more matured about handling things.

Even when I know I deserve better, my heart tells me to stick to him.

And be patient. Cause something tellls me it's gonna pay off.

The love i'm battling through right now is definitely a war.

I take the risk of going to the enemy, win or lose, at least I tried my best.

And I believe that matters the most.

But dear, you gotta learn to appreciate okay?

Sincerely, I love you.

2011-01-01T00:15:00.004+08:00

Hey readers, how did you celebrate your New Year? With friends? Loved ones? Family? Well, to those who celebrate it alone because your partner has to work, you're not alone baby, you're not alone. Yes, my boyfriend has to work as well. Sigh ):

2010 has been a bad year for me but instead of mourning over it, i'd seriously like to thank it for letting me face through many different kinds of challenges. Challenges that I too, foresee, it coming in 2011. Like they say, you have to fail to succeed. You have to get hurt to learn to love. You have to fall to discover your strength of getting yourself back up on your own two feet.

My main highlight for this year was Beng. He made such a great impact in my life. It was tough with him, I swear. I regret almost everything that we shared but only I understood that he truly loved me. Only thing was he didn't know how to show it. Nonetheless, being with him taught me patience and he did pass on a little bit of wisdom to me.

Other than that, the fact that I withdraw from my course in NYP earlier this year. And because of that, I lost a handful of awesome friends. But people come and go. I've lost a couple of friends, I've made a few new ones. Life revolves around us like that. But there are these 3 people that has made a difference in my life.

Nahar Tan,

Remeber how we met? Haha, it was the MOST memorable night ever. Having to meet you and your friends were awesome. But having to get to know you better, you somehow taught me to see things in a different way. You're so optimistic, patient and kind, despite your hearing disability. I look up to you, Nahar. Your passion-driven soul is somehow my inspiration (:

Salihan Abu Bakar,

From a friend, to a best friend, to a true friend and now a brother. You never disappoint me. You never fail to be there for me. You never left my side. Easy to say, i've never had a friend like you. You protect me like your sister. Never would I thought, my best friend is my ex's cousin who used to hate me cause he thinks im a horrible minah. HAHAHA! I love you ((:

Last but not least, Hafizzuddin.

You have entered my life. You left and then you entered again. I never thought i'd end up with you! I still remember our first date, waaaaay back. You told me you were so shy tapi end up berbual macam kenal dah bertahun gitu. Hahaha, those times...

I've tolerated so many of your nonsense. But you always have a way of making me cool down and I don't know what is it that you do that makes me so patient with you. I was never patient with my exs ya know? Sigh. Kau black magic aku ke? Ngehehehe, okay joking. Okay, tak kelakar.

Today is our first ever monthsary. Teehee, so amateur eh? But nevermind.

Looking forward to 2011, with you by my side.

I love you.

2010-12-31T11:16:00.002+08:00

2011

2010-12-28T00:54:00.000+08:00

I LOVE MY MR VALENTINO! (:

2010-12-26T23:21:00.002+08:00

Things I really want!

1. POLAROID CAMERA

2. Bebe wallet I saw at Wisma!

3. Juicy Couture chain bracelet (((:
4. MORE money!

5. And a nice 20th birthday celebration with my friends and babylove.

Dear Hafiz,

You have definitely made a difference in my life. You've unintentionally taught me to be more patient and of course, be more understanding and practical about things. I may have been a pain in the ass but you have been that, way more than me. Hehe. Nevertheless, I still love you. Thinking about what we've went through, it was quite a ride huh B?

We met different people. We got to know other people. But no matter what, I always come back to you. And I guess, same goes to you? I know other couples have been together for years but in a few days, it'll be our first. How fast time flies eh! Remember like months back, we got to know each other through Tagged. And then Facebook. And then HP and then our first date, then the rest of the dates. Wahhh seehhhhh!

And baby, now I can officially call you my boyfriend.

(: Let's have this 2011 together.

2010-12-25T23:25:00.002+08:00

I had 2 whole days with you, love.

I finally have you in my arms on the 1st of December.
Hope you'll be there for me throughout 2011 too.
I hope for a good new year and wanna share it with you.

2010 has been one hell of a ride for me.
I've grown apart from people.

I've grown closer to people.
I thank God for whatever challenges he has given me.

Because if it wasn't for those challenges, I wouldn't be who I am now.

Stronger, with a much improved maturity.

I've also learnt to be patient.
And thanks for bringing Hafiz into my life.

From a friend, to casual dating and now, together.

Amin.

2010-12-25T00:20:00.001+08:00

I had one full day with baby.
I loved it and yes, I love you.

2010-12-23T00:40:00.002+08:00

We could meet and not talk for the whole day and i'd still be happy as long as i'm in your arms. You love making me angry because you find it cute but when I really am, please don't persist on building up my anger. Okay? Golek. You're patient with my emotions, and that's one of the reasons why I love you so much.

Best feeling is,

it seems like everyday i'm falling in love with you,

over and over again.

2010-12-21T00:18:00.002+08:00

I've missed out on so many people. I don't know what's going on in their lives, what's new and all. Especially my friends. Sigh, and even for my driving license, I can't seem to find the time to take my practicals. I miss my cousins as well, and I even barely see my parents. I go out when they're already out and I only reach home when they're almost asleep. Ibu & I used to share so many things. About my ex-boyfriends or dates. We'd laugh our asses out talking about my experience with my ex boyfriends.

I miss it all. Now I know that time isn't easy to manage. Even my boyfriend & I are having problems of our own now. Life's a little shaky for me now, seriously. I need to quickly find a way to sort things out and put it all into place before I fall apart. I'm not stable financially yet. I've gotta pay a few bills and all. Grrr! So, a few things that I wanna buy would just have to wait ): Boohoo! But takda duit pun tadi boleh beli rip curl punya straw hat macam mana?!

Pay is tomorrow.

I have to set aside $200 for phone bills.

Menggeletar nyah!

2010-12-15T00:33:00.002+08:00

Everyday's a normal routine for me now. It's either i'm at work, out with my boyfriend or at home to sleep. If i'm not working and my boyfriend's working, then i'll make time for my friends. But even so, my social life is crucially lacking! But having a career is different, you gotta set aside fun to earn the money. But of course gotta balance between work and play lah.

Okay, i'm sleepy now. Was about to play blackshot but can't take it anymore.
ZZZZZZZZ -.- Good night peoples.

2010-12-12T11:00:00.002+08:00

How long it took you.

How patient I was with you.
How much sacrifice i've made for you.
Only I will know.

2010-12-10T00:16:00.001+08:00

Apiz & I are getting these babies soon!
Shall we get the abercrombie & fitch sweater also, B?

2010-12-08T15:09:00.001+08:00

Except gaga. Bleargh.

So Apiz is making me angry, cause he is not waking up.

So very disappointed in you.

2010-12-06T01:03:00.002+08:00

B, i'm patiently waiting for you to return.

Dear blog, i'm sorry for ignoring you for quite some time. I've not been filial, I know. But i'm busy working and when i'm not, i'm with him. So bear with me okay? Any ways, a lot has been happening. I'm not sure if i'm 100% contented with life right now. I still need to stabilize myself in terms of career.

Other than that, love life is a little confusing at the moment. There are things that need to be talked about face to face. He's currently at KL now and will only come back on Tuesday. I'm not even sure if he'll reach at night or...? Oh well, I suppose I just have to wait then =,( It's only been 2 and a half days and i'm missing him like CRAZY!

And I miss my social life! Work takes up most of my time, so it's been a while since I met up with my friends. Dearest friends, i'm sorry okay. My working hours are not fixed, same goes to my off days. Sigh! Ibu's buying me Iphone but I THINK I wanna wait for the I-phone 4 white. VERY NICE! But senang kotor lor. Should I just get the Iphone 4? Hmmmm...

I actually want the Galaxy S but Iphone 4 got cute2 casing. Haiya! And yeay, payday coming in. So i'm getting my VS tote bag soon! Weeee! Heeee (: See first lah, I kirim VS bag from B. Don't know if he can find or not. Takpe, I tunggu Mr. Valentino I balik dulu. Cepat please!

2010-12-02T16:10:00.002+08:00

There are points of time in life when you make sudden left or right turns without looking first. Some needs a compass and a map, some needs someone to guide them. But there are those handful that knows where they are going, they know what's waiting for them on the other side, making them overcome whatever obstacles.

And some, would just give up.
It doesn't matter if you do.
ALL that matters is if you actually make the effort to pickyourself up again,
and continue the journey.

Come what may.

2010-11-23T02:03:00.003+08:00

I remembered when we exchanged numbers and then eventually, we got closer. Our first ever date was at Marina Bay Sands. We just sat there and talked as if we knew each other for long. We grew apart, we grew closer. There were bad times and there were good times. But I gotta admit, if it wasn't for the bad times, we won't be what we are now.

I do wonder a lot, if it's you that I wanna be with. If it's you that i'm sure of. If it's you that i'll last with. But nevertheless, it's you that I feel secure with. It's you that I'm stuck with. It's you that I fell in love with.

Anyhoos, I can't wait for Payday! I'm getting a VS Pink tote and perhaps a gucci wallet. And not to forget a new phone! ((: Ooooh, and I just ordered a Chanel bracelet. Heeee! Prepared for pokai-ism. But it's gonna be worth it!

2010-11-13T09:49:00.002+08:00

Can I?

Anyways, I think i've been repeating this a few times. Work is hectic and it takes up a lot of my time! In fact, it's either work or home. If I end work early, sometimes I meet up with ____ to spend more time with him. I really miss him and his crap :C Anyhoos, my sales are picking up and i'm surprised at how friendly and positive i've become. Haha! I can talk to any stranger I want, whenever I want.

*big smile*

I'm growing my eyebrows, and for now it's a mess I swear. OMGOSH so ugly please! It's all over! Should I trim my fringe and have some side-swept bangs for the mean time? There are so many things I wanna do, I wanna buy! I wanna colour my hair (maybe highlights too). I wanna find a nicer haircut that suits my face. Ermmm, I wanna buy a new phone (Samsung Galaxy S) and I wanna buy clothes! And not forgetting...

A POLAROID CAMERA!

So many things, so little money. And HE owes me Seoul Garden C: Dia nak belanja I seh. Heeeee! I'm going out later, not sure where to though. Anyways, I wanna go back to sleep, or maybe watch TV. Good morning!

2010-11-07T11:57:00.001+08:00

What did she do to deserve the good things you had to offer?

2010-11-01T09:51:00.002+08:00

My work has taken a lot of my time away from me. And working life is so different from schooling. I don't miss school at all (I think this is just for now cause people always say that you only miss school when you start working). But the thing is, I find it really thrilling to be earning for your own living. My first pay is not gonna be much cause of my wisdom tooth problem. Argghhhh! I could have like 4-6 sales more okay! And that makes a difference ):

I'm heading to work soon. Having lunch with fellow colleagues. I hope I get a good location today. Other than that, I hope nothing bothers me anymore. I purposely take out all 4 of my wisdom tooth so as to avoid any problems in future regarding my job.

On a brighter side note, I'm eating seafood this Sunday at East Coast Park with ____! Wheeeee (: I'm craving for it since a long time and we've been planning this since like god knows when. And Mey, let's go to USS soon okay? I really wanna go there. I feel so left out not having been there even once. I nak naik roller coasters! And another even coming up that I really am DAMN excited about is the upcoming Christmas Party held by my company! Woooohooooo!

And my BTT is in 22 days time! Maintain attitude nana, always think positive despite it being a Monday. And one thing I realized, once you start working especially with a job like mine, 6 days work week, you tend to forget what day it is actually. But nonetheless, after writing all the things im looking forward to, THANK GOD IT'S MONDAY! Heeee (:

Irritating eh aku being so optimistic early in the morning?

2010-10-31T10:09:00.002+08:00

I'm a happy girl now that i've had all my 4 wisdom tooth out! (^^)\/

But very disappointing cause I didn't get to go to work and earn my money! Grrrrr! Friday and Sunday I never work lehhh. How? Confirm gaji this Friday sikit punya seh. Nevermind, quite suay that I had my wisdom tooth pain. Just starting of my career and this is what I get. Positive mindset nana, you gotta catch up and promote yourself to trainer man!

Anyways, semalam like shit eh. Duit aku hilang and I think I know who took it. It's my first ever rezeki from my company and you took it?! Terima Kasih lah many2 ye. You will get what you deserve you Son of a *toot*. Patut lah brothers2 kau curi duit kau selalu! Nevermind, I hope you live alone FOREVER. Hidup rosak, hidup tanpa keluarga, tanpa kawan. Your only friend would be your AIRCON. And you'd die of it. WHERE GOT TIME NAK AMEK NI SEMUA? WHERE GOT TIME NAK CURI DUIT ORANG? Ooooooops! (:

Haiz, dah lah. Nak lepaskan geram.
Main blackshot pun cantek!

2010-10-27T21:00:00.003+08:00

I am so in love with this video (:

I've just started work recently. It's my 2nd week and i'm on MC already. Why? Cause of the stupid wisdom tooth pain. I wanted to pull it out today but 2 of my dental places are fully booked. So I put myself into the first slot tomorrow morning which is at 8.30am. I'm scared but at the same time, I can't wait to get it out! It's been haunting me for a month and yes, my mistake, I procrastinated a lot. Pfft!

I went to work cause I thought the pain would go away but it didn't! GOSH! And worst part is, today FULL SHIFT. I could have my Personal Best today, or maybe a bell or better still, a gong! Dang it ): Okay, maybe you might not understand what i've just mentioned. It's terms we use for recognition of good sales. No work = no sales = no money! ):

Pain, pain, go away.
Don't come to me everyday.

I would love to share what Rodney, has shared with us this morning. What is your purpose in life? And one of them said to have Financial Freedom and I was like "waaaaaahhhhh..." All I thought I wanted to achieve was to be a wife and then a mother. But honestly, I wanna be rich. Yes, I'm money minded but ironically, I don't mind if a guy can't treat me to a luxury life. I'm money-minded in a sense that I want to EARN lots of money!

Having a purpose is like drawing a map for yourself. Without it, you're just wandering around aimlessly. So to my dear friends, you're nearing 20 years old and if you don't know what you want, you won't even know where to start. I know what I want and damn right, it's the time for me to plant my seed today. Okay lah, maybe not today. After the pain of my tooth go away perhaps?

2010-10-15T14:25:00.002+08:00

I have wisdom tooth pain and it's KILLING me. And i'm too afraid of the dentist to step my foot into the clinic. I swear I don't want to pull it out! But Abang Apeeeeeeeez nak teman saya. Awwww, so sweet lah kan? Ngehehehe. The last time he wanted to accompany me, member paitao, tidur punya pasal. Nabeycheebs betul seh! So hopefully, this time he won't bail on me. Please ehhh!

This morning, I sent Zan to the airport cause he's going away to Wallaby for 3 weeks for some army thing. He has been my companion for like 2 months already sia. Gonna miss you my friend! And oh, I got a job interview on Monday. I really hope I get it. I've been waking up early and not being lazy to look for a job. So god, please be kind to me and murahkan rezeki gua. Okay? Golek.

And to YOU, this is for YOU!!!

(see below)

Cause everytime you're near me, I run out of words to say.

2010-10-13T12:58:00.000+08:00

2010-10-12T11:00:00.002+08:00

"She's indecisive, she can't decide"

How is everyone? For me, life isn't very stable nowadays. My parents, I really don't know what to say. I'm just disappointed that they both refuse to set out their differences and talk things out. My mum would ignore the problem, making my dad think that she doesn't care about this family at all, which actually leads to another problem. It sucks to be the one at home, cause my mum isn't working and she would vent her anger at me.

That's why I would do anything to go out of this house and come home only when both of them are asleep. Home is at the bottom of the list of where I want to be, seriously.

You know how at one point of time, it seems that your life is going downhill at a very steep slope. You can't seem to stop it and you feel so helpless. All you could do is just hope that when you reach the bottom, you survive or someone/something would save you in the middle of it all.

And to YOU. Do you know how much it hurts to be soooo close to you but not able to have you in my arms or call you mine. You treat me so special, well, I feel that way. How you grab my hands and interlock your fingers with mine. How you try to stop me from crying, with REALLY STUPID ways but it works anyways. How someone so obnoxious gain all my attention.

I'm downright rough with all the other men and so with you. But when comes to the topic about feelings, you can make me cry without even saying a thing. You make me cry without you knowing it as well! Meeting you is difficult cause everytime I do so, I have to hold back my tears. Can't you see that?

Si jepun.

2010-10-11T14:32:00.000+08:00

WHEN YOU'RE SINGLE, YOU SEE HAPPY COUPLES.

WHEN YOU'RE ATTACHED, YOU SEE HAPPY SINGLES.

2010-10-07T23:51:00.003+08:00

Sup people?

I was wondering what was up with the "I like it on the..." It's in conjunction with Pink Ribbon Day! You just post where you like your purse placed at. Itu je. The posts sounded dirty and I was wondering the whole day until my friend told me what it was about. Pfft!!!

I'm still jobless and useless as ever. I need a full-time PRONTO! Any recommendations or lobangs please pressing2 sama gua okay? I am love-less as well, all because I am suffering from Philophobia. But everyone will somehow overcome their fears, no? Philophobia is phobia of being/falling in love btw. Hahahaha, Nana philophobia kape?

Family is on the rocks, honestly. I hate being home nowadays. Mum keeps nagging and scolding over the littlest things and my dad would vent his anger on me just because he's unhappy with my mum's attitude. Bleargh! Home is the last place I want to be if my parents are in, seriously, for now. My brother and I are okay although sometimes we'd get into small feuds. Blood is thicker than water, so no matter what, forgiving is the first thing you have to practice when it comes to family.

Okay bye, I wanna eat my dried mangoes.

Nanight!

2010-10-07T16:36:00.000+08:00

Understood?

2010-10-03T10:26:00.000+08:00

NBCBSIAL.

2010-10-01T01:19:00.002+08:00

I've been feeling different and i'm not sure whether it's the good or bad kind of different. I feel so emotionless. I feel so unable-to-love. Honestly, I can fall for someone really easy. Maybe not in love, just infatuation. But it's been 3 months, my heart hasn't be opened to anyone. Not even big crushes. Is it because i've been tightly tied down for 4 months when I was with Beng and enjoying the freedom now or is it simply cause i'm too afraid to commit to a relationship once more?

I need someone who can understand me.

Someone who isn't JUDGEMENTAL. Someone neutral.

Sigh.

Zan, i'll pray for your speedy recovery.
Stop berbual merepek, telling me you only have a few days left.

It's not even serious lahhh dengs!

(-.-)

2010-09-29T00:22:00.003+08:00

Sup people?

I look really fat in the above picture huh? FML.

Raya's at the quite-dead period already. I can't believe it's gonna be over soon. I wanna change my blogskin but i'm too lazy to do so? Any kind souls that I could trust? Sigh. I feel so lazy and depressed. I'm at the lowest valley of life right now and i'm not even sure why. You know those times when you just feel shitty? Like, whatever happens you just go "Oh what the heck, just let it be."

Ibu & I are getting somewhat better. We're starting to talk already. Other than that, the only good thing in my life right now is that my hair smells really2 good. I love sunsilk. Omg, aku kesian tengok diri aku, expressing love to a bottle of shampoo in my blog. Siakens, aku sungguh takda life!

Oh, I can't wait to take my BTT, it's in November. LAMBAT PE?! Sigh. Korang yang dah pass and dah ada kereta, diam2 ah. Jangan nak step depan gua. At least i'm making the efforts here. Aku punya orang pemalas okay! Last time, when I used to watch TV in my bedroom, and got sleepy, I just sleep, hoping that my my mum or dad would walk in and switch it off for me. Or else the TV will be on till morning when I wake up for school. I am THAT lazy.

I am currently not in any relationship or whatnots. I'm taking my time in my career settings first and earning enough to afford myself car necessities. Somehow I feel that having a boyfriend is the last thing I need for now. I'm not ready to be tied down just yet. Well, that's basically it. Blog aku boring, jangan baca sua.

Takings cares peoples.

2010-09-26T18:27:00.000+08:00

Life is average.

Not going up, neither is it going down.
So there's nothing to talk about.

Take care readers.

xoxo

2010-09-22T15:20:00.002+08:00

It's raining so heavily. Rainy weather always make me calm, I don't know why. It's been a while since I update huh? Not much have been going on this raya. Ibu's menopause is at it's climax already. Waaaah, so the panas selalu. Tak perlu eh lepaskan marah kat orang sembarang2. Very irritating. I feel like staying at someone's place temporarily just to avoid her. Pfft!

And to Salihan, thanks for recommending me the job.
Aku belanja kau makan2 after getting first pay okay? Ngehehehe.

2010-09-15T11:39:00.002+08:00

Assalamualaikum kawan2, how's your raya going? 1991 babies, this might be your last year getting raya money huh? Ngehehe. Make the best out of it baybeh! My raya was a little cock up this year. We didn't manage to cover the rumah orang2 tua during the 2nd and 3rd day of raya. Lagi2 first day raya aku buat hal. Heeee, sorrrry lahhhh ibu!

Ibu threw away my beloved helmet. Sedih bulu you know. Baru nak customize sticker 'Nana Cine'. Might be buying new helmet soon! (:

Oh bys thes ways, i've enrolled myself for car license! Enrolled for private, taking auto. BTT is 2 months from now! Lambat pe? Nak kena amek FTT lagi, boohoo! I nak cepat2 take my prac and pass and keluarkan kereta! Ibuuuuuuuuuu, I nak Lancer Evo!!! Hee. Actually Honda Fit macam okay seh. A small car, but VERY affordable. Ikutkan hati, aku nak WRX. Ngehehehe.

Okay lah people, I nak apply2 kerja ni.

Any recommendations???

2010-09-04T00:34:00.005+08:00

I am so angry. So pissed off that i'm shedding tears of anger. Yes, I cry when i'm feeling so angry and helpless. It's just that we were doing fine, just as friends and I ~~liked~~ love what we had and what we shared, until YOU came along and break whatever bond that we had. You're prolly with him now and goddammit, paranoia is eating me alive! Can't you just F*** OFF?

I received a few texts just now from ______. They go as follows. The first one:

"I mula merasai yg u dh dpt lupe kn i. . . .its ok dear. Sempena bulang ramadhan no. . ____ menyusun 10 jari memohon ampun di perkare2 buruk yg ____ laku kn terhadap diri nana. Mahu pon di hadapan atau blkg nana. Halal kn makan minom ____ selame kite bersame dan akhir skali. . Slmt menyambut idulfitri yg akan tiba. . Maaf zahir batin. Yg ikhlas. . ____."

"I jusz wana say tat im proud 2 tel semue org yg u my mataer. Pi syg skali kite tk lagy bersame. Hw i wish tat setiap ke esokkn hari adalah 2nd of april 2010. Ma first kiss yg i beri kn pade u."

"People alwayz say tat u only have 1 wish 2 make. N wen i saw ur photo. . I wish tat u jadi mataer i. My wish was granted. Kalo lah i wish tat u jadi isteri i. Mungkin semue ini tkkn berlaku seh. U r so special 2 me nana."

These 3 messages almost set me to tears, I swear. It was the toughest relationship i've ever had. Firstly because I had to hide so many things from my parents. Tak ada restu, relationship will be very difficult. Secondly, I've been cheated on so many times and yet I forgive him even if I still can't forget. Sigh, aku dah takda mood. Goodnight.

2010-09-03T01:38:00.002+08:00

Men in Tuxedo, I suka nyah!

I've been really confused lately. You'd come and go as you wish. Why can't you just stay for a while and really look at me? Look at how i'm trying my best to show you that i'm right in front of you! Stop looking left, right, up, down and all around and look in front! You just leave without a say and then you'd come back into my life and take me away from reality. You make me enjoy every single moment spent with you!

And then when it's time for me to go home, you'd just text me for a few days and you disappear! And then you come into my life again and stay for a while and leave! What am I to you? WHO AM I TO YOU? I hate it when this happens. You're holding on to me by a thread. Do you want me to cut it or hold on to it? Which?! STOP confusing me.

I'm angry because I can't have you all to myself. I'm angry because you leave me hanging. Should I go or should I stay? If I go, you come back into my life and pretend nothing ever happened, like you never left. But if I stay, you act as if i'm not here for you and ignore me! Please just give me an honest answer.

Do you want me to stay or do you want me to leave?

P.S. You guys wanna know something crazy? I know he's never gonna read this.

2010-09-01T00:53:00.002+08:00

Hello people! I think it's time for me to do a proper update huh. I've been busy helping out in the kitchen making kuih! Yes, this year Raya, Ibu & I decided to bake our own kuih rather than just buying kuih tunjuk. We'll be buying some though. So far, we've made Pineapple Tarts, Suji, Chocolate Chips, Kuih Makmur, Kuih Kacang and Biskut Gajus. Tomorrow, we're gonna try and make "Ferrerro-Rocher-inspired chocolates". And popiah gulung, you know the one with sugar sprinkled all over.

Waaahh, busy busy busy. Everytime I wake up, the smell of baked kuih fills the whole house already! I've yet to buy my baju raya. Most prolly, i'm wearing last year's baju cause there was one baju which I only wore once for 1 open house. My family tak pakai sedondon seh. My dad and brother refuses to wear Lime Green. Geraaaaam je!

So other than that, i've been going out with friends and ______. I guess i'm currently dating someone right now. Nothing serious, just go out together to random places and hang out. Aku rasa pintu hati aku belum terbuka untuk ber-matair. I don't know, it's just more complicating than it is. Entah lah kaaaaaaan.

Marlia has started schooling, so no more Bukit Panjang for me. Kakak dia pulak busy working. Haiya. So this weekends, my plans are as follows. Friday, iftar with cousins (father's side). Saturday, maybe another iftar with Bukit View Secondary mates. The previous one was a failure. Sunday, not so sure.

Okay people, I nak Facebook then after that tidur.

Nanight!

2010-09-01T00:41:00.001+08:00

Enjoyed every single moment.

Yes, I'm a food lover.

Ngehehe.

2010-08-28T12:57:00.002+08:00

Keming Primary School mates breaking fast together at Chinese Garden.

Fa-bu-lous.

2010-08-28T01:41:00.003+08:00

Have you ever been in a situation whereby you have so many choices and you don't want to make a choice cause you're afraid that if you make this one, you might regret not deciding to choose the other one? Damn, this is so hard. Maybe it's true to what my mother said, one day, you'll have to choose and you have to really sit and think, which is the best for you. "Kau tak boleh ikutkan perasaan kau 101%, you must think of your future also." SIGH!

I'm off to bed now.

Tomorrow making Kuih Tart! (:
P.S. I miss you already.

2010-08-28T01:06:00.000+08:00

Marina Bay Sands is such a beautiful place at night (:

2010-08-25T01:28:00.002+08:00

Woodlands Waterfront.
A perfect weather, cooling breeze.
You & I facing the waters.

Me getting fascinated everytime a fish jumps out of the water.
Me telling you jokes and you laughing at them.
And then the next thing I knew, your arms were somewhat around me.

I stopped breathing for a moment, let it out and smiled secretly.
It's the little things you do that makes you stand out from the rest.
I like you, and I don't know if I should be scared...

Or just, happy.

2010-08-22T23:55:00.002+08:00

So much for dieting, I had a sinfully good 1/2 a serving of cinnamon melts. Gaaah, it was just so tempting. I think it was better than the cheesecake. I wanted to order the oh-so-heavenly Oreo Cheesecake but lucky thing it was sold out so I had the Cinnamon Melts. Ngehehe, I tak tahan. I kalau nak, nak jugak.

2010-08-21T01:51:00.002+08:00

(I know Leia would HATE to see this picture but it's the only group picture we have at RL)

Going back to Bukit Panjang was definitely a trip back to memory lane. I recalled all those memories with L&M, Burungs and Junkies. It all started with Leia asking me to come over to Bukit Panjang to slack and then slow, the group grew. We were all strangers who became friends and almost like family. We were all so close, all so bonded. I guess everyone just grew out of it huh?

Relationships here and there. First it was she and him, and then him with her, and then he broke up with her and went with another her and many more! Secretly crushing on people among us and all. We would always have something new everytime we slacked. There was the sound game, and then the ice and water, teaching Leia how to play taiti. How we would sing our hearts out and such.

We had tiffs, most definitely. We had a lot of arguments and disagreements and some left the group because of these arguments but some stayed. Although we broke up a long time ago, I know that in everyone's heart, of those who was part of the friendship circle, must have found it one hell of a ride. It was the most memorable friendship, most treasured I must say.

I can't imagine myself actually not knowing these people. Leia, our friendship has brought us a long way. And we have went through A LOT before you settled down with Malek. Remember how we first "got to know him"? Thanks to Thaqif eh? Haha! Bukit Panjang, this one small neighbourhood I shall NEVER forget.

I can't wait to meet them again later, finally as ONE (:

2010-08-19T14:01:00.002+08:00

I like the blue and pink one! Mana nak dapat eh? Anyone knows?

So i'm on a diet. Must lose weight laaah, elle maliko sudah tegur badan dah naik. Sedih pe? I was planning to go out today but I really gotta save cash for Friday-Sunday. But fikir2 balik, i'm gonna eat just a little bit (MUST TRY HARD), so might not use much cash. Susah geng, susah.

2010-08-17T14:02:00.002+08:00

I nak multi-coloured polka dot nails jugaaaaak!

2010-08-17T01:35:00.002+08:00

Something has been holding me back from moving on and I think i figured out what it is. It's not the fear of starting a relationship again. I'm actually afraid of failure. But what confuses me is the fact that i've failed in many relationships, so why does the recent one with Beng affected me really badly?

It was only with him, I realized that the relationship with the most suffering and pain is the one we always treasure most. I don't know bout the rest of you girls but I tend to remember those who were absolute jerks to me, and I myself get irritated with that. I went through A LOT when I was with Beng. I've learned many things and managed to change a few of my flaws that he pointed out. It is a big issue okay cause being me, I hate to admit to my own mistakes. So if you hear me apologize, I really mean it.

At first I thought it was worth suffering for him. Then again, what did I gain? Don't talk to me about luxury, it don't mean a thing to me, seriously. Yes, he paid for food and whatnots. He had a car, easy for us to go anywhere but I didn't care about all that. I'd still be with him even if we had to go public.

It's just that, I just had a tinge of hope that he would somehow change and things would work out for us eventually. I was thinking far already. And what I meant by that was, I was thinking of our future and I never felt so sure of it. I wanted to be with him and wanted a family of my own with him! I was somehow convinced that I was able to make my parents accept him, even though I knew that was almost impossible.

SIGH.

I promised him that I would stick by him no matter what happens and guilty as charged, I broke my promise and I wish to apologize to him but i'm to embarassed of myself to even do so. I couldn't even text him what more face him. I wish he knew how sorry I am. I know he still loves me very much and he misses me as well. If he says he doesn't, he's lying. And bukan aku tak tau malu, I just know him very well. We had something really special. It was a relationship I never had with anyone else before.

But when it comes to these sweet moments, the part when I miss him and all, I start thinking of the things he had done that betrayed my trust. He played behind my back, one too many times and that's when I start hating him all over again. But I just hate the fact that, I was still crazily in love with him even though I hated him so much for betraying me. So much so that I said...

"Please, if you're doing anything behind my back, please don't let me find out. I don't even wanna pry and find out myself. It hurts way too much."

All he did was look down in guilt. I knew tears were dwelling up in his eyes. He just refuses to let them out.

2010-08-16T14:39:00.000+08:00

I love Miley Cyrus =D

2010-08-15T23:05:00.002+08:00

I had a very light tiff with ibu. She was totally asking for it. I suddenly uttered, "What is wrong with this family?!" and yup, ibu heard it. Well, it was something out of anger. I was having a bad day!

First it was my brother, making so much noise upon having to give me $20! Hello, ibu's gonna pay you back once she reaches home. He starts banging the doors and the gate! I hate it when people vent their anger on me when it's not my fault. BENCI SIAL. He was getting on my last nerves but I remained as calm as I could. I puasa today, so cannot maki. Ngehehe.

Then it was my dad making so much noise just cause he was hungry. I guess it's true that a hungry man is an angry man. So after mumbling to himself angrily about something which I don't even care about, he went out and came back half an hour before buka. I wonder what he did when he went out. Aku tanak fitnah lah ye, god knows.

Gaaaaaahhhhh aku sooooooooooo takda mood.

I need ice-cream so badly.

BYE!

2010-08-15T20:41:00.001+08:00

All looks so sinfully good. DAMN!

Mouth-watering orgasm.

2010-08-15T01:43:00.004+08:00

Went out with these 2 GILAs.

It was just the 3 of us but I had fun (: Totally impromptu. I hate to bring my hopes high but I just can't help it. I'm very excited for next Saturday. Hope all turns well. I miss all of us going out together, I miss it to bits. Next weekend, i'm occupied. Saturday with the gang and Friday with Bukit Viewans. Sunday with the NYP people (Jamal, Azirwan, Ain etc). Primary school belum set date dulu. Aku plan takda orang layan sia macam cb. Wait for Shikin's cue then. Ngehehe.

Recently, I confessed to someone about something and it felt AWESOME.

Having butterflies in my tummy, up till now (:

2010-08-13T13:47:00.002+08:00

KALAU AKU NAIK NI CONFIRM KENA PAKAI PAMPERS!!!!

KENAPA KAT SINGAPORE TAKDA NI?! Hmph!

2010-08-11T23:54:00.002+08:00

FUH, colour hidup pe? Awesome body art.

Boy, i'm waiting for your text (:

2010-08-11T14:14:00.003+08:00

My favourite song when it comes to Raya. Okay, how are you people coping with first day of the fasting month? For the heavy smokers out there, good luck eh. Haha. My mind's bursting with ideas on what to cook for break fast later. I wanted to cook western but ibu and ayah doesn't really like western food.

Ibu would eat anything.

Ayah doesn't eat fishball/fishcake and doesn't like western food.

Abang doesn't eat vegetables, fish and soup-dishes.

As for me, I eat anything too (:

So yeah, those are the constraints. Anyways, my application for PO has been rejected. I believe many knows already. But it's okay, I don't have to cut my hair and I can buy a new phone! Hehe. I'm 19 this year and feel a little embarassed if I still have to accept green packets. I feel like i'm too old to receive them. But nonetheless, I won't lie to you, I still want them cause my uncles and aunties are very generous! HAHA.

I'm thinking of applying for a job at airport; Ticketing. The pay isn't as good but it is better then those clerical jobs offered at hospitals. I don't really mind the journey lah but Linda told me that it can start as early as 4.30am. I don't mind, when there's a will, there's a way. Fuuh, hujung tanjung siul. Nevermind, just go apply. Ada ke orang suruh aku apply stewardess?!

HELLO?! Can't you see my body infested with fats all over?! And my education level?! O'levels tak cukup nyaaaah. Or were you people trying to sindir me? Bastard seh ): Gotta persevere. Nevermind, take it slowly. No need to rush. *Breathes in and out*

2010-08-11T10:46:00.002+08:00

They want me to be their perfect friend, *middle finger*

They want me to be the perfect daughter. Well, EVERYBODY makes mistakes.

They want me to be the perfect girlfriend, damn right you can fuck off.

YOU HAVE A LIFE OF YOUR OWN.

Why bother about others? Is yours THAT boring?

2010-08-10T12:36:00.003+08:00

HAPPY 45th SINGAPORE!

I know it was yesterday but was too busy having fun with friends and cousins to wish Singapore Happy Birthday. Pictures are all uploaded at FB. I really had tons of fun with them. City Hall was infested with people from all age groups and races. The old ones or those with families semangat wear merah putih. Some teens did too. For me, I just couldn't be bothered lah. Elle Maliko semangat buy baju you know just to wear red white! Hehe.

I was pretty disappointed with the sequence of the exits. They should really organize it properly. Humam traffic was awful, I swear. Men were taking advantage to TOUCH sial. People who exit from the Padang and those who watch Fireworks from outside all jalan the same way. Abeh kalau aku da pakai so-called feminine and then panjat fence nak cakap apa? I was trying so hard not to lose anyone from the group. I felt like a teacher doing head counts all the time. Haha.

We had a really bad view of the fireworks. Sheesh! But already watched the preview so I don't mind. It's them who didn't get to watch it.

Those who got the view from Skypark ):

So once bunga api dah abes, we quickly made our way. Heard from someone, ada activate. Tak tau lah kaaaaan. Sigh! Aku tanak sia pergi area Marina Square atau Esplanade. Tak tentu pasal ada je kena. Yes, aku tengah sindir orang. Today, i'm kinda lazy to go out but i'm bored staying home. How? ANYWAYS......

Bear & I have talked things out and we both agreed that it's better for both of us to remain as just friends. Kau dengan aku are better off friends lah eh? It was simply miscommunication, no hard feelings. I'm nice if you're nice to me. He didn't ill-treat me so there's no reason for me to hate him. Dua2 pihak tak salah. So, orang yang tak tau pasal kita, please jangan sembarang cakap eh.

Other than that, take care people!

Now must wait for udang rebus to wake up before I can text him.

Tidur macam babi !!! (>.<)

2010-08-10T11:00:00.003+08:00

Time and Date not accurate.

This was last Sunday @ Uncle's house, Lakeside.

2010-08-10T01:14:00.001+08:00

Abang belikan I jam ini! Hehehe, lawa tak?

Lawa kan? I tau.

Thank you abang! ((((:

2010-08-09T14:17:00.002+08:00

MAGNUM MCFLURRY!?

Mana nak dapat, Singapore confirm takda ):

2010-08-07T12:20:00.004+08:00

This picture is making me cry. Kind of telling like, "If you're happy then i'm happy." But of course in my heart i'd be cursing and swearing all the meanest things bitches come out with. Sigh, I can't deny that i'm happy now being single but at the same time, Bear & I are in a very confused state right. It was a WHOLE LOT of misunderstanding and I was being too...sensitive? I don't know, I feel that he was the one not giving a single thought to our relationship.

Ibu is making a lot of changes to this house. We were having breakfast together. I cooked Nasi Lemak, heh. So yeah, we were having breakfast and as per normal, after every meal, we would pour out our green tea kuaci and start nibbling on it, while talking about random things. We jumped into the topic of raya and what we're gonna serve, what kueh are we gonna bake, the decorations and all.

Cause for my house, every year when guests come, we won't cook hari raya food. Cause, you go EVERY house it's the same old rendang and lontong and ayam masak merah and sambal goreng. So, we decided to serve finger foods with spaghetti or something not common. So-called cuci mulut you know? Plus, it saves us all the hassle. And surprisingly, this year ibu semangat nak pakai sama colour. Different designs lah but all same colour (:

LIME GREEN!

I somehow have a feeling that this year's raya is gonna be a blast. Although nenek isn't staying opposite my block anymore. I really miss going to that house and seeing all of my relatives there, eating together and laughing at the old times. And then after going to nenek's house, all of them would come over to mine since it's near. Nenek, I miss you =,) I've been a huge sinner this year and well, I think we should salam and do the apologies first before putting on make-up, know what I mean?

2010-08-05T12:34:00.002+08:00

I'm madly in love with this song.

"Just the way you are by Bruno Mars"

The guy in the video is NOT Bruno Mars but I find him very very talented (:

I'm planning to stay home today. If I keep going out, i'd have no money for this weekend. I already spent a lot when I went shopping 2 days ago. Shit, shouldn't have went out ya know? If not I could still have $100+ in my purse. Boleh buat untuk JB this Saturday, dang it! But I didn't regret buying the 2 dresses cum blouses. I love it to bits, very cute! The heels that I bought, putus you know. So yesterday I went back to the shop to fix it up and decided to wear it. I was so afraid it would putus again, so I changed back to the gladiators I originally wore.

Okay, i'm having really itchy throat now. I think I got this from Ika, damn you! Ibu is getting it too. Nasib baik have ubat batuk, tagak saje lah (: Oh btw, I've yet to get any letter or call from SPF. Please oh please, I really want this. God, please let me have this job. Please murahkan rezeki I and give me this job. Last night, I had a nightmare regarding this SPF thing. =,(

PARANOID!

2010-08-05T04:08:00.002+08:00

Haha, this is so me. ZZZZZZ (-.-)

I was asleep for around 1 or 2 hours and was waken up by a call. I didn't pick up that call but since then, I was rolling, twist and turning, trying to go back to sleep but I just can't. So I decided to Facebook. What else could I possibly do? It's 4.30am and my brother's already awake, getting himself ready for work. EARLY OR WHAT?! What can I do to make myself sleep eh?

Anyhoos, I had around $150 on Sunday. And now my money's left with $15!!! What the hell did I spend it on eh? I know I bought a pair of platform-ed heels and 2 dresses cum blouses. Sigh! I think I spent a lot of my money on food because I get hungry easily. And only my friends would know why I get hungry very easily eh? The food doesn't stay! Eat, feel guilty, then throw then hungry then eat then feel guilty then throw. It doesn't stop! Mana tak bankrupt aku ni?

This Saturday, maybe i'll be going to JB with Bear. I think he's going with his friends but I'm not sure. He just asked if I wanted to follow him to JB this Saturday. We'll see how it goes. Other than that, life's pretty normal. I'm hungry now and I can't sleep. Macam CB. HAIZXSZXSZXSZXS!

2010-08-03T10:51:00.002+08:00

Love.

2010-08-02T11:04:00.002+08:00

The song I fell in love with the first time I heard it.

I admit that i'm greedy when it comes to love cause I would want him all to myself.

2010-08-01T13:05:00.002+08:00

You are the only exception.

Thank you for understanding.

But if you're gonna hurt me in the end, just do it now please.

2010-07-31T00:05:00.002+08:00

I nak ice-cream now ):

I hate looking at food pictures. Make me wanna have special powers that can make the food in the picture come out of the screen. I want them so bad if they look so good. Perangai gemuk eh? What to do, I WAS a very very fat girl and the appetite has never left. Self-control and discipline nana, please! I wanna lose 7kg more seh. The last time I checked my height and weight, which was during the check-up for the SPF thing, my height's 164 and my weight is 57.1kg. FAT ALERT FAT ALERT!

Sigh, macam mana nak chase after bad people?

2010-07-30T15:41:00.002+08:00

Baby, I miss you (referring to picture above).

I'm listening to Tiesto on such a slow Friday afternoon. I'm so bored at home. I wanna go out so badly. Anyone wanna date me out tomorrow? No, I don't mean a guy, could be a girl. Anyone in fact. I hope Bear top-up soon cause I really miss him. Rindu lah berbual dengan dia sampai larut malam. Fuh, melayu aku halal or what? I hope he asks me out tomorrow. I don't wanna be the one asking him out. Yeah, aku ego, so?

My love towards Beng is fading, nearing to none, and it's a good thing, I must say. It's true what they say, time will heal all. I just don't know how to shake him off. He's very clingy and refuses to let me go. Talking to him won't do the trick. He'd just assume that I have been dating some other guy behind his back (which I did, once. But that was only cause we weren't contacting). He always thinks of me as the other girls he have met. Those that would just GIVE. I'm not.

Honestly, there is no other in my mind right now other than Bear. And ibu, cause she's the one I always have my late lunch cum dinner at home with. Now that she's away at Jakarta, rindu pulak eh. But nevermind, she'll be home tomorrow evening (:

Oh yeah, back to Bear. His name is ____. Go figure. I'm not prepared to reveal anything to anyone yet. Maybe just my close friends. I got a lot to tell, a lot of feelings bottled up. He doesn't know very much cause, well, I can't say the reason out but he just doesn't know. I really am hoping he would tumble across my blog and read all of this cause boy, i'm falling hard on the ground for you. My superwoman cape isn't working anymore. I'm not saying i'm in love people, don't assume.

I've been thinking a lot of my friend's well-being. Like how Mey is doing with her new boyfriend. Is she doing okay with her job? Does she miss me? And how Leia is coping with everything. Malik? Did she get a job as a nurse in any hospital? I assume not yet cause I go to her blog everyday for any updates. How bout Salihan, is he okay with his brother. Or how he's doing with F____? Or Fitri aka Wak. How is he doing in school? He seems happy with his new friends. Any friends taking him for granted? Cause he's a very nice and kind-hearted guy, people always take advantage.

Then memories flashed, moments i've spent with my old clique. Everything has changed huh? There comes to a point of time in life when everything and everyone starts to settle down. Concentrate on what's important in life such as a relationship you're starting to take VERY seriously (marriage), a proper and stable job, thinking about where you're gonna stand 10 years down the road. It's this point of time in life when you feel so alone even when you have family and your loved one by your side.

You'll feel lost and going nowhere.

Trust me on this one, you just have to look towards the correct direction (:

2010-07-29T23:53:00.002+08:00

Puasa's coming and that means, HARI RAYA is coming!

Woooohoooo!

Based on experience, it was hard for me to fulfill a whole month of puasa because of ciggs. It wasn't easy, temptation was always by my side. Also, with the influence of friends. Haha, i'm not saying it was bad influence because I wanted it as well. So the temptation was almost impossible to resist. So what are the tips to keep you from "breaking your fast purposely"?

Whenever you feel like smoking, direct your mind straight to other things. Other things more important. I know it's hard cause at the moment you want it, kau nak jugak. It's like automatically on the top of your to-do-list once your body is asking for tobacco. But MUST try! Yok ramai2 berusaha (Ni part aku macam faham)!
I don't know about you guys, but water seems to be more important than food when it comes to fasting. Whenever you feel thirsty macam nak mampus, slap yourself. You're not gonna die. Telan air liuh banyak2. I know it's not helping but I got no tips when it comes to water ya know!!!
When hungry gila babi, TAHAN. Best way is to SLEEP. You sleep and the next thing you know, you'll be awaken by the aroma of food lingering around the house. Food all prepared on the dining table and ready to break fast. With the variety of drinks and all. Waaaaah air katirah. YUMMM!
Kalau nafsu pula tiba, don't watch redtube and tarik getah please. DON'T DO IT ALSO. Just direct your mind to something else like, ermmm, what you're gonna have for break fast.
BEST WAY TO KILL TIME IS FACEBOOK! TWITTER! BLOG!

I think it wasn't very helpful. But I tried. All the best for puasa people! Hmmm, this year raya aku single ke? Oh well, nevermind. Ada bear pe kan. Hehehehe okay se-top it. This year, i'm not looking forward to the money but to jalan raya with my friends! Just having fun visiting houses and eating your heart out. Yes, puasa da cukup diet, so hari raya apa lagi, open diet ah! But of course ada limits! I can't seem to eat a lot and not feel guilty. I'll feel guilty and thus...tau2 la korang eh. Kawan2 aku je yang tau.

So this morning, I woke up at 5.30am to send ibu off to the airport. She's at Jakarta now having her holidays with her friends. I have to do all the chores seh. I know i've been doing it everyday but without her help now, it's EXTRA chores but the best part is, she gave me EXTRA cash in advanced. Make sure she comes home, spotless. I then followed ayah to his office at Loyang. Talked to a few of his colleagues. All of them seemed to be shocked on how much I've grown. Haha.

Around 12 noon, we went to Tampines Mall to eat at Delifrance with 1 of ayah's colleague. When she brought us to Delifrance, my father was SO cute! Very eager, his virgin visit mah. He ran to the big pictures displayed outside and he brisk-walked towards the big pictures and pointed to the spaghetti and said, "Ayah nak ni." Macam budak2 kan? I swear he was so cute! I only had the calamari. The creamy chicken soup was very satisfying. Chicken bits so soft, soup not too thick and not too watery. Nice (:

I then headed home after that.
Ingat nak tidur, sekali teringat lah kena masak.

And jemur, angkat, lipat, gosok kain.

And vacuum the whole house.

And wash ALL the dishes. Banyak okay!

Haiz. I feel like a depressed, widowed woman.

2010-07-28T15:30:00.002+08:00

The cookies are soooooo cute!

2010-07-27T23:40:00.001+08:00

I hate you but I love you.

I can't stop thinkin of you.

It's true, i'm stuck on you.

2010-07-27T13:55:00.002+08:00

What's life without chocolates aye?

I'm obsessed with the game Mall World at Facebook.
Ibu's flying off to Jakarta this Thursday and coming back on Saturday.
Still waiting confirmation from SPF. PRAY HARD!
At this very second, i'm watching The Incredibles and I want Maltesers so badly.
I am hungry again.

2010-07-26T13:09:00.003+08:00

I don't hate facebook. I just hate the rest of it.
Picnik thing, neutral. Cause I use it too! =D

2010-07-24T23:29:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, I choose to lie to myself thinking that he'd not cheat on me because no matter what, his heart is for me and no one else. I chose to close one eye and let him cheat on me as long as at the end of the day, he'd stay by my side. I know it's really stupid and most people who believes in mutual love would be against this crazy idea/belief I have. Till now, I cry thinking what I had done to deserve this from him. What have I ever done to deserve this kind of love. It's a crazy kind of love with him.

Yes, we were forced to break up. I kept saying it was a blessing in disguise as I finally got the chance to live my life as a semi-independent young adult. Looking for a proper job, getting my life back on track. Yeah, I had no life with him. Oh wait, I did and i've learnt so many things from him, no doubt. His friends were kind of the older ones and I have grown wiser, I suppose. So I thank him for that but I didn't appreciate the part whereby he took away my friends and family.

It was a blessing in disguise, I admit it was. But I just can't lie to myself anymore, telling myself I hate him. Yes, I do for the things he had done behind my back. It was the fact that I kept running back that has kept him going on, continuing cheating on me. Ironic isn't it? I didn't choose for it to be this way. Like the phrase says, "It's hard to tell your mind you don't love him when your heart still does."

Everytime he does something which would upset any other girl in this world, I would accept his apology and go back into his arms and I felt ashamed of myself for doing so. Where was my pride? Why am I being so easy? I swore I would never accept a guy after he has betrayed me twice. Yeah, not once because i've learnt to believe that people deserves 2nd chances. But all this craze is simply cause i'm still in love. I can't help it, I still love him.

I need to be strong and stop meeting him.

I need to be strong and reject his calls and not reply to his texts.

I gotta stop trying to make him jealous.

I gotta stop crying for him every night when he's enjoying it all away.

Everytime I try to get up and manage to stand up on my own 2 feet, he's just gonna push me back down, without me knowing. And then he's gonna lend a hand, offering me help to get back up. I've always accepted your offer but this time i'll push it away and say, "I can stand up on my own."

I gotta be strong.

2010-07-23T15:15:00.005+08:00

Keming Primary School reunion

The dinner was fun. We ordered 11 pieces of plain naan, 2 garlic naan, 1 butter naan and 1 cheese naan. With 2 bowls of keema, butter chicken masala and chicken tikka masala. Waaah, we thought we could never finish the plain naan but we did anyways. Forcing everyone to eat it. Haha. And then after paying for the food, we sat down and talked about the past. Who was with who, who got prettier, who got slimmer, what happened during Sarimbun camp. Haha, dang. The memories all flashed back and it was really fun. Next, planning to buka puasa together. Awesome (:

This evening, will be meeting someone.

Okay, other than that, tomorrow i've got plans to watch the fireworks with god-knows-who. So sesiapa yang nampak aku besok, tegur okay! Perhaps, things are falling into place. I MIGHT be getting this job as a police officer. I really and badly want this. Cause it's gonna be my permanent career. Good pay somIe more, I mean for qualifications of an O'level. Lucky I got 5 credits, kalau tak, tak dapat seh. Everyone's telling me that kalau dah pergi check-up, confirm dapat. Giving me high hopes. Beh kalau tak dapat macam mana? Aku ketok kepala korang satu-satu.

Leia, i'm helping you pray you get back a call from NUH. Kalau tak dapat, sia-sia je belajar nursing. Nevermind, you can try other hospitals. NUH uniform buruk. I can't imagine you in it! Haha. Now, I just have to sit home quietly, avoid any trouble and wait for 101% acceptance letter. Then wait for intake. Terus da macam NS, Monday to Friday stay in and then Saturday baru book out. Wah seh. 6 months training, imagine all the cash we could all save. Okay korang, I wanna power nap first. Takecare! (:

2010-07-22T12:28:00.002+08:00

I nak Fruit Loops tapi in chocolate milk, boleh? ):

So last weekends, I spent quality time with my cousins, ika and irah. It was hell of a fun. Sunday however, I met someone and we went karaoke and then just hung out. Nak save minyak punya pasal. We hung out somewhere around the KTM railway. Just sat at the side of the road and talked.

Monday, I didn't go out. Zzzz ibu tak bagi I duit lor.

So on Tuesday, I didn't go out during the day. But in the evening, ibu & I decided to go Swensens. I was craving for ice-cream. Hehe. Wanted to order the earthquake but figured that it was too big for the both of us so I had the Strawberry Stripes while ibu had Macadamia Mania. Hers was sweet cause there was caramel syrup smothered all over. Strawberry stripes was awesome because I love strawberries! Hee (:

Next time I go there, I wanna order a table full of finger foods. The deep-fried shitake mushrooms and I love their fries! Soooo chunky and awesome! So on Wednesday, woke up really early in the morning to go for my check-up. Met Ray and Sofiah at Raffles MRT and proceed to OUB center. Had X-ray, blood test, urine test and GP consultation. From 9am all the way to around 12-1pm. Was looking out for which of the guys were selected and only recognized Ahmad.

So the 4 of us went for lunch at Burger King after that. Hahaha, semua da berangan jadi police eh! We were creating our own scenarios and all. Haha. So IF (emphasize on the IF) we got in and hopefully same intake, after 6 months, kita nak pergi Bangkok sama2! Stop it sia perangai. Berangan gila babi. I didn't know that when it was training time, our salary would be the same of those of Regulars. Aku tak tau! Ingatkan time training, gaji NS sia. Haha!

Okay yada yada, tonight having dinner with primary school peeps! (:

CANT WAIT!

2010-07-17T00:44:00.003+08:00

Not confirmed get position but i'm just glad it wasn't a reject letter!

Ray, sofiah and I got the medical check up letter.

Sadly, shasha got the reject letter. Was really hoping 4 of us together seh ):

BUT IM JUST FREAKING GETTING MY HOPES HIGH SIA!

OHHH EMMM GEEEEEE!

Kawan aku cakap kalau dah dapat medical check up form maknanya high chance dapat.

Tsk, sekali last last tak dapat eh? Confirm aku sedih. Sebab dah excited gila seh.

P.S. Michael Scofield, hope to see you during the check-up day. HEE (:

2010-07-15T10:36:00.002+08:00

I love Food Pictures that make me salivate!

(Khairul Aminurasyid, bila nak makan Pastamania dengan aku lagi?Haha)

I'm really hungry now and gotta get cooking like really soon. Why do I feel that i'm the mother in this family? Oh wells, i'm just waiting for call. Panggil lah untuk 2nd interview. Aku tau lah ada pending case but but aku dah repent. *sweet sweet smile* Hehe. Anyhoos, yesterday was awesome. I normally spend my time watching TV and put my laptop aside but my dad came home early and wanted to watch the TV. Memang ada TV lain but I want cable!

So I watched movies on Youtube. But first, I watched The Blind Side (DVD). I cried. Then I watched If Only and I cried too. Then I watched A walk to remember and the last one, The Notebook. I purposely saved the best for last. Damn! All sappy movies and I cried at all of em. Haha, movie marathon alone is not all that bad ya know! Ini lah orang yang dah boring lah kan.

Of course in between I had to shower, go toilet, cook, do chores etc.

Wonder what am I gonna do today. Nak keluar anyone?

2010-07-14T11:35:00.001+08:00

I got this from www.paulaelizabethbraberry.blogspot.com

Still unsure of the real author.

Here’s to all those girls who used to be his number one.

The ones who waited all night for him to call, only to check your cell phone the next morning and be disappointed. The ones who made it through that bitter break up, dried your own tears, and moved on with your life, only to have him walk back in it months later like nothing ever happened. Those of you who cried on the first day you talked again because you knew exactly where this phone call was going. The ones who listened to him say, I only want to be your friend, one day, then listened to him say that he loves and misses you, and the next when he doesn’t want to be anything at all. Here’s to the ones that took him back, hoping that maybe this time, he was different, hoping that maybe people really do change.

We listened to our friends tell us that we were stupid for even thinking about giving him another chance, got crap from our parents, and even snuck around to see him even for a while. We went through the great stage with no fights all over again. We started this out thinking it would be just friends, and ended up falling in love with him again. We wanted nothing more in the world than to hear him tell us he loved us too, that even though things were bad in the past, they would be different this time. And when we finally heard it, it was like we were dreaming. This is for us.

Here’s to the ones who believed what he said, sat around all over again waiting for a phone call that might come in a few hours, or a few days. Here’s for the tears cried and dried all over again. We wanted so desperately to believe that he was really busy, he couldn’t possibly call us at that moment, or even that he fell asleep early. We trained ourselves to believe the lies because we wanted to believe we had found the one for us. We learned to SETTLE for someone who didn’t treat us the way we should be treated.

Here’s for the ones who did their hair and make up and put on their prettiest everything, only to hear him say that he couldn’t see us today. The ones who never believed it when people told us there might be someone else. We just couldn’t believe that he could do this to us again.

This is for those great girls, who loved him more than words can say, and took him back no matter what happened last time because they couldn’t bear to look back on their lives one day and wonder what if.

This is for the girls that stayed up all night long listening to him whine about an ex girlfriend who cheated on him, and cried during the entire conversation. The ones who hoped he would realize that he deserved better, that he deserved us. When he said that he loved you, but he was in love with her, he didn’t mean it. This is for the ones that held on to something that was never there to begin with.

This is for us girls, who somehow managed to get him to forget about her, and get him to tell us that he was in love with us again, only to have him tell us three weeks later that You’re just not the one for me. or maybe, things were going too fast, I’m just not ready. (Then later on find out he has a damn girlfriend already.)

Here’s to the girls who couldn’t cry to their friends because of how stupid they felt. The ones who held it all in when things came crumbling to pieces again. This is for the ones who couldn’t bear to even tell their mom what was going on, for fear of an I told you so.

The ones that could just TELL that they had made a mistake ever allowing him into their hearts, their beds, and their dreams again.

We knew that we deserved better the entire time, that we deserve a guy who would call when he said he was going to, one that would come see us when ever he got the chance, one that would really care about us. We just wanted the one that we loved like that.

Here’s for the ones that FINALLY realized that he never gave one thought about them.

Here’s for the time that he took to waste, breaking your heart again. This is for those days spent trying to hold back the tears, and the tears that turned into anger, then disappointment.

Here’s for us girls who finally realized that we deserve better.

This is for those confusing days, when you miss him, and want nothing more than to hear his voice, or feel his arms around your waist.

Stay strong, and remember that relationships are like broken glass, sometimes it’s better to leave it alone rather than try to put the pieces back together and get hurt all over again.

Remember the times you cried, and how long it took you to even be able to look at another guy like that.

When your song comes on the radio, turn the station. When the day comes that he realizes what a mistake he made and tries calling, turn your phone off. When he tries coming to your house, don’t answer the door.

Think of all the broken promises, and the lies, the manipulation and the tears, the wasted moments and staying up all night wondering where the HELL he was.

Think of how your heart used to jump when your phone would vibrate in the middle of the night, and how it fell to your stomach when you saw it wasn’t him, and realized that once again, he hadn’t called when he said he was going to.

One day, you’ll find a guy who’s worth all the tears, but he won’t make you cry. You may think that you’ll never care about someone like you did that guy that you always ran back to, but you will.

It’s gonna hurt like hell, and it’s going to need time to heal, but the point is, it will heal.

I felt all of this when I was with Ahbeng.

Men, see what I mean?

2010-07-14T09:50:00.003+08:00

I was watching this movie. At first I thought it was gonna be boring but after watching a few minutes of the show, I was hooked! It was airing on Star Movies and I hope it airs it again cause i'm so in love with the story line and also, the lead actor, SEAN FARIS! He plays as Jake Tyler in the movie. It's a real good movie, if you're in to fights and such. This is the lead actor, Sean Faris.

Below is him giving the ultimate flying kick. DAMN!

But then came this guy. He's the "villain" in the movie.

The bad guy.

DAMMMMNNNNN BADAN DIA SO OMFGORGASM.

8 packs alert !!!!

Awouuuchhh! Panas panas!

2010-07-13T08:19:00.002+08:00

I nak ni pagi-pagi boleh? Hot chocolate with mini marshmallows in it.

Perhaps I couldn't lie to myself anymore. It's simple, i'm not ready to move on and I think he knows it himself too that he somehow still has feelings for his ex-girlfriend. Whereas for me, my feelings towards HIM has never faded. I said nasty things to show that I somehow moved on and am strong enough to pick myself up and stand on my own two feet. It was a pride thing, I wasn't being honest to my heart.

I'm gonna take my time choosing the right one for me. Or maybe just wait till someone comes along. I'm just gonna mind my own business and pray hard for my call for the 2nd interview. I really hope I get this job. I don't mind if the starting pay is low, seriously. The title "policewoman" excites me a lot and somehow motivates me to do my best. BUT I think i'm gonna cry when i'm cutting my hair!!! *Sob sob*

Listening to: Hady Mirza- Angkasa

2010-07-12T09:20:00.002+08:00

I realized one thing about girls eh. They will always have something against the girl that their ex moves on with. Don't call me a hypocrite cause even I do such things! It's a really bad habit for girls to visit their ex's Facebook/Tagged profile and criticize the girl he's with. Find all her flaws and stalk her if it's possible. Find out what they're up to. Keep up on the dates they've had and compare it if it's better than those you had with him. It's really childish!

And just like any other girl, I will only keep my mouth shut if the girl is proven better than me. I mean, looks and career/education wise. But still, we choose to believe that no one would treat our ex boyfriend like we do, with so much love and care and whatnots. We'd say that our character is better and how we shower our love can never compare to anyone else. Yada yada yada!

Then *snap* it's proven that you have yet to move on.

YOU ARE STILL LOOKING BACK!

Ask yourself this, Why am I looking back?

In my case, it's cause somehow I can't see him move on. I can't see him being happy with another girl. I mean, it makes me feel like he's cheating on me when fact is, we've broken up like ages ago! I get jealous and feel like I should kill the girl. Tapi tak boleh, nanti SPF tak call for 2nd interview how? Ceh ceh, seriously nana, kau macam faham. And worse thing is, the girl is adding me both in Facebook AND Tagged. Why does SHE want to stalk ME? It should be the other way around.

Is she trying to show that she's making him happier and stuff? If any of my friends knew me better, they'd know that I hate having enemies. I've always befriended my boyfriend's exs. Unless diorang betul2 macam sial and nak aku benci diorang, I really don't mind. Cause when you're neutral with the exs already, all you have to worry about is a first hand third party. And if a third party dares to break up MY relationship, I will fucking break her bones. But then SPF won't accept me if like that ):

STOP IT EH NANA.

Nevermind, i'll just assume she wants me to stalk her (:

P.S. Don't think the smiley icons were friendly smiles.